The Juggernaut Heart Practices: Love
Juggernaut Heart (juhg-er-nawt) ('härt)
1.) An inexorable force that obliterates obstacles; the vital center of one's feelings and intuitions
2.) A Juggernaut Heart gives you the power to create the right circumstances in your life for your soul to express it's true nature.
Practice Four: Love
What most people experience as Love is a beautifully intoxicating hallucination. Yea, I said it. I've been there! Alot. And I like hallucinating over love as much as the next person. But in the millions of hours I've thought about Love, the 100s of books I have read about Love, and the 1000s of awkward or destructive moments I have had with Love, I have come to a few conclusions about what all that Spiritual mumbo jumbo about "love yourself" really means.
If your heart has been ignored, broken, neglected and you have not healed those breaks, you may harbor a terrible secret belief that you are not lovable. Or at best, "I am only lovable if..."(I am hot, young, rich, happy all the time, etc). Because many of us believe this lie, we concoct elaborate facades of our best qualities in the hopes of getting someone to recognize the good in us and give us a second look. Have you been on Facebook? Then, if someone does invite us into relationship, we don't trust it, because WE know that they fell for the facade - not the real person, so we either run away from them, or fall deliciously into the top two Love Hallucinations:
Love Hallucination #1 We don't actually see the person in front of us. We see the person we want him to be, the person she could/should be, or the person he was or will become. We project onto others what WE want to become. We might obsessively try to capture this person because they make us feel whole. Problem is, none of this is based in reality and condemns the relationship to potentially years of pressure under the unspoken (or spoken) expectations that are completely delusional. Without roots in present reality, we are blind the drug abuse, the lack of passion or the mis-matched values because we can only see our projected qualities we hope will save us and make us feel complete. (See Juggernaut #3 for more on projections).
Love Hallucination #2 We "fall in love" with the other person, not because of the who they are, but because they love and "see" us. For a soul feeling unloveable, the very idea that someone loves or tolerates us at all is amazingly intoxicating. This is like falling in love with love. It doesn't matter that you have nothing in common, you can't get off the crack of feeling loved. Problem is, the unwritten contract here is, "You stay unloveable and I'll keep being the strong one and rescuing you from those bad feelings." If either partner grows spiritually and steps out of that contract, the relationship crumbles.
To Sober Up to Love we have to stop thinking things like, "When I am with someone like X, then I will be happy." We often hope that person X will complete us, fill in our weak spots, opposites attract and all that crap. Honestly, that is just co-dependency. While partners can support us when we're down, care for us if we're sick, and bring out new qualities in us, WE have to fill in our own weak spots and create our own happiness. We want to create a rockin' life for ourselves!
The Practice of Love
Creating a rockin' life means taking risks to be who you really are. It starts by loving the truth of yourself.
Step #1 Look at your whole self - shadows and light. Look at the parts of you that you might be mortified to share completely with another person. Your addictions, hang ups, weak spots, gross habits, true hair color and still say to yourself, "Yep. I see all of you and I love you." Until we learn to stop hating those parts of us and come into right relationship with them, we can never fully open to Love.
Step #2 Look at the parts of you that you love and study yourself like your dream lover would. Do research on the way you like to be touched, the way you like to be spoken to, the things you like to think about. Discover & re-dicover your values and talents. Explore your humor and go deeper and deeper into you. This process of discovery and newness could go on forever! How delightful to be a lover to oneself! Before we can be intimate with another, we have to become deeply intimate with ourselves. To have a Juggernaut Heart, we must practice self-intimacy. Learning to love yourself in this practical way, makes you a good lover of others.
With all of that straightened out, we actually begin to live Love. Love is simply an energy that we embody. In a way, it is the energy that animates us, gives us life. It is Prana, Vital Life Force. It is usually compromised by fear. When we heal the fear and make room inside for this high vibration of vital energy, we walk through the world differently. We know how to have deep love and compassion for whole people starting with ourselves. When we hold this energy, we are free to choose relationships because we want them! Because they bring us joy! Rather than choosing relationships because we NEED them. Wanting and needing are quite different energies. Wanting without needing is powerful. It is Juggernaut.
So here is the deal. Develop a Juggernaut Heart.
1. Practice Fearless Feeling (Juggernaut #1)
a. Feel & express feelings so others can see you b. No hiding - not anymore
2. Practice Radical Forgiveness (Juggernaut #2)
a. It happened. It's over. Honor it for getting you here b. Let it go and get on with the present
3. Practice Soul Reclaimation (Juggernaut #3)
a. Reclaim the good and bad so you can be whole
b. Free yourself from having to be completed by another.
4. Practice Love, Love, Love! (Thank you Lenny Kravitz) a. Explore with wild abandon, your dark and light
b. Love what you find
c. Keep a healthy curiosity about yourself and others
c. Create a rockin' life so you don't feel NEED.
d. Choose Joy
e. Choose Joy
f. Choose Joy
Lenny gets it. Give it a listen.
You can find the other posts in the Juggernaut Heart series here.
About the author
Natalie combines the practical street-smart experience of her years as Director of Executive Development for Nationwide Financial with the ancient healing techniques found in Shamanism and Yoga to bring her clients a unique combination of deep healing and holistic personal development.
Natalieʼs own healing journey is featured in the inspirational book by Debbie Phillips, Women on Fire - 20 Inspirational Stories (to save you 20 years of time!) published in May 2009. Her article, “Personalizing Your Leader Development” was published in the March 2003 Harvard Business Review and featured in the book, Harvard Business Review On Developing Leaders published in 2004.
She has studied under the Direction of Dr. Alberto Villoldo, and graduated from The Four Winds Institute of Energy Medicine. She is 200hour RYT and teaches Shamanic Healing Vinyasa Yoga and hosts healing yoga retreats called Soul Fire!
Website: www.inspireleadership.com
eMail: natalie@inspireleadership.com
Image from qthoamsbower on Flickr
